Wednesday, 28 November 2012

How much of worry. HIV or I am Mad?

This article is specially written for people who are too much obsessed with “HIV”. Who else can understand your agony? It’s quite easy  for someone to say that ,”Don’t worry, you cannot catch HIV through public toilet” , “HIV gets detected in maximum 3 months in 99% case” but our mind thinks what if I am that 1%, we look forward to an angel coming and say that you do not have HIV
I can totally understand your problem. Now you are thinking who is he? Well I am not a doctor but I have virtually dedicated my 9 years to HIV, I worried about having it from nail scratch, massage parlor, Barber, sharing toothbrush, at dental OPD,  accidentally while my blood drawn, Mosquitoes and many more.

I have rushed to hospital 2 am in night to get HIV test and reassure myself that I am HIV free, I have dies 10,000 times in these 9 years. I am thankful to Late Dr. Frascino whose posts most of the times made me reassure and halt this vicious cycle

But during these 9 years I suffered from other worries also but HIV has been my favorite. I died of HCV, HBV, Cancer, Tumour, Heart attack, Dengue, Swine Flu but HIV is king of them all. I was scared of red ribbon as it reminded me of HIV
Well whatever antidepressants you take, how much of psychotherapy you do but until you don’t wipe it from your head, trust me this will attack you again and again, no doubt that people like us should have psycahtric evaluation and wonder medicines like “Anafranil” can hijack these thoughts and you’ll feel better  and you cannot wipe them until you make them silent for 2-3 week(s)

I have seen peoplee posting again and again on same questions using different names, I know what we are looking for is that one answer “You are free from HIV and there was no Risk”, we start then asking reasons for support of that answer, it works for few hours and then suddenly one more thought in mind what if  …..?  We never realize that we have slowly entered into vicous cycle and it then becomes difficult for us and we seek reassurance, we spend 8-10 hour on web sites and never realize that what what we started reading on first web page, same information is available on 100th page also and in between we also start believing the web sites and articles which stand best fit for, “Little knowledge is dangerous”. We trust words in forum from someone that “Yes you cannot catch HIV from nail scratch but if you are too much worried get a HIV test done post 3 months” , great and so easy for them but it opens a door to hell for us

What we need is to put a brake , based on my experience of wasting thousands of dollars, month(s) of time on internet surfing,  getting tested every 3 months and doing “WooHoo” and suddenly next day back to same thoughts of what if…, psychiatric consultation,  etc. this never stops until you really put brake
Trust me in last couple of year(s) I had a success and now I am on mission to educate people and share the magical ways to get rid of this phantom . I laugh at myself when I start going back to those thoughts but the first step is to identify that we are one of those extra sensitive people who need more care which at times doctors fail to give or recognize
Signing off for this week until I come back with magical steps In next post , till then wish you less anxiety and peace


Disclaimer: This forum/blog under no circumstances is a substitute to medical care. This blog should not be used to self treat yourself. If you believe that you have a health problem, you should immediately consult your doctor or health care provider

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